Thursday, June 30, 2005

Hi Ho, Hi Ho, to Galveston I Go . . .

Update on a post a few back - I have decided to go on our Mission Trip. I calculated my hours needed and figured out I could go on the trip and still finish my internship before our cruise, which has been my goal all along, so YAY! I feel really good about the decision, and am really looking forward to going. It is Josh's first mission trip with SOBC (he's our new youth minister) and I want to really support him and be helpful. Plus it's Jana Lee's last trip and we have had so much fun in past years that I am so happy I will not miss her last trip. I'm gonna see if I can be in her room. So again I say, YAY!

Jay and I just came in from swimming in our pool! The water was so nice and warm, and we just floated around and laughed and relaxed. We got a little "noodle sling" that's supposed to make a chair, and when Jay sat in it, the water came up to his chin or almost over. It was so funny I was laughing till my stomach hurt! I realize this has nothing to do with mission trip, but I just thought of it and wanted to write about it. We sure enjoy having a pool. What a blessing to get to have one!

So, Galveston week after next, then Cozumel on July 25! Yeah, it's all good . . .

I've Got Pains in New Places

Wow, my body is fighting back against the new things I'm asking of it. I have been seeing three massage clients a day, and yesterday and today I saw four. Man, what a difference one more makes - though today is better than yesterday. Mainly really tired and stiff in my back and some in the palms of my hands. But I think I'll build up my endurance and strength to the point where I don't feel this way. I doubt I'll do more than four a day in my practice anyway. So far everyone I've seen has been very nice, and some have given me nice "donations." We are not allowed by state law to take tips, but we can receive "donations" for lunch or gas money. Go figure - ain't that a tip? One of my classmates is a young (20) single guy who is really sweet but really needs a girlfriend. I've been teasing him that I keep getting all the babes to massage - several of my clients have been young attractive women. Of course the ideal massage client is youthful, in excellent shape with nice firm muscles and smooth skin, perfectly groomed, etc. But most people don't fit that bill, so when you get one, you appreciate it. We are having fun swapping stories about our clients. It's hard to believe it'll all be over by the end of the month and then we won't see each other until we get ready to study for our state test unless we book massages with each other. It's been fun. Very different, since they are all so young, but really fun. Tomorrow I have four clients, and one is a good friend and one is the woman who runs the wellness group I'll be working at, so I sure need to do a good massage for her! She's very nice. I think her husband is going to come in as well.

Anyway, it's really a trip to be on this journey. I sometimes still can't believe that I'm in school and am going to be my own boss and set my own schedule etc. Just seems surreal. But cool. But weird. Like I'm going to wake up and find out I'm still working behind a desk after all.

I find that most evenings I come home, do a few little chores, eat dinner, watch some TV and crash into bed quite a bit earlier than I used to, even though I don't have to get up as early. But I just can't stay awake much past 10 or so these days. We ordered a Sleep Number Bed (murrrrrr - wheeee). I think it will really help me recover at night from the strain on my body. I want to write on here more often, but many nights I'm just too darn sleepy!

Our cruise is July 25! Cannot wait! We are going with James and Angela and Peter and Tiffany, and Andy is going too. We are really planning on getting lots of rest and hangout time, not too much scheduled stuff. Lots of sun and laying (or is it lying) around! And perhaps a margarita or two thrown in there, along with as much food as I can stuff down my throat! Heck yeah, that's what a cruise is all about! Might go parasailing - yeah buddy! Jay thinks I'm nuts, but hey, gotta live those dreams!

Must pay some bills and other joyous activities now, while awaiting my delicious Three-Cheese Stuffed Crust Pepperoni Pizza and side order of Quepapas (a yummy new treat from Pizza Hut that looks like a tater tot (yay tots) with cheese and jalapeno bits inside). Isn't is nice to know I'm eating so healthy along with my new health conscious career. Yep. That's me. Mmmmmmmmuuuurrrr - I'm hungry!

Monday, June 27, 2005

It's the small moments . . .

Yeah, it's all good. Those little moments that just remind you how sweet life can be. Waking up at the regular time and remembering that you don't have to get up yet because your schedule is different now. Layin' out by my pool with a book and a big ole glass of iced tea, soakin' up the rays or napping. Yeah. A great book on tape. A really good movie that makes you appreciate the gift of language. My potted flowers around the pool are still alive and blooming! Sam's goofy grin when he does his silly "tiny steps" walk. The way he starts asking for "Anny" the moment he walks in the door. (well I could write a whole book on stuff about Sam). Laughing so hard you think you might pee your pants. A good hot shower. A nice long email from a friend (love love love those). Those little affectionate touches between family members that say so much without words. Andy's tend to be pokes and punches and resting his arms on my shoulders since he's so tall now, but still, the message of love is there. Freshly washed sheets. Fresh laundry smells in general are one of my favorite smells. Clean, soft, comfortable smells. My sweet, goofy dog always lying within a few feet of wherever I am, guarding me or just wanting to be close. My cat lying in the sun, meditating or whatever cats do when they have their eyes closed but they aren't sleeping because if there is any noise at all they open one eye. Coming home the day the maid has been there. Yeah, I have a maid. And it's fabuloso! And I'm worth it, finally. Funny words. Like murr - a word one of Andy's friends uses on her blogs. It just makes me giggle. Don't know why. It's a great word - could mean lots of things. Murrrrrrr. That's how I'm feeling today. Muuuurrrrrrr.

To Mission Trip or Not to Mission Trip

Okay, I'm having a dilemma. I had planned all along to NOT go on mission trip this year, and then once I got in school and knew I'd be finishing up my internship in July, I definitely was not going. Now Tiffany is going, and I am finding myself waffling about maybe rearranging my schedule to go. I am asking myself why. I wonder if it's just because Tiffany is going and she's a blast to hang out with and I know we'd have so much fun, or also if it's the old "don't want to miss out on anything fun" feeling that I often have that makes me overload my schedule. Is God really calling me to go, or am I just wanting to be in on the experience with everyone else? I suspect it's the latter, but I'm praying about it to be sure. Gotta let Josh know by Wednesday for sure. The other problem is, if I rearrange my internship schedule to go, then I'll finish later than my other classmates instead of us finishing together, and there you go, it's that "be in on the experience with everyone else" quandary. Lord sometimes I'm a pain in the tush to myself!

But, this whole thing has made me contemplate how often we sign up to do things for that very reason - not because God called us to it, but because we want to be in on the experience wtih everyone. Something to consider . . .

Good Times

Man, I can't seem to find time to sit down and write. Well, that's not really true, I have time, but I keep putting it off because I have so much to say I don't know how to narrow it down, and I think there's some other dynamic going on there but I'm not sure what it is. I love reading everyone else's blogs and logging comments, and I end up spending all my time doing that!

Anyway, last week (well starting Wed) was my first week of massage therapy internship. Interesting. Fun. Scary. Exhausting. Sometimes I still find it hard to believe I'm actually doing this and it will be my job, instead of going into the office and sitting at a desk. It's kind of like the summer Lindsay got married and I quit my long time job and temped all summer. It was kind of surreal. This is the same way. But I'm having a blast, and have made some real good friends in my classmates, though they are all young enough to be my kids. You kind of bond with people you spend that much time with in an intense setting.

One day last week I saw an RMT come in who, I swear to you, looked like she might have at one time been a he. She had large trout lips (collegen, I suspect) and her face looked kind of plasticky (is that a word?) like Cher's looks now. All I know is that if she/he came in to massage me, I might run the other way! Scary.

I've developed a new celebrity crush. I'm in love with Jason Bateman. If you have not watched Arrested Development, run, don't walk, to your local video store of choice and rent the entire first season. It's the funniest, most subversive, innovative and original comedy I've seen in years! Brilliance! Hi. lar. ious. I spent a lot of time trying to remember what show he was on in the 80s (it was The Hogans). But who knew he was such a good comedic actor (and so darn cute). Some guys get much better looking as they age. Anyway, it's more of an intangible quality, humor and intelligence, I guess. I plan to make this a can't miss show this fall. It's on Sunday nights opposite Desperate Housewives, which is another of my new favorite shows, so I'll have to tape it!

Anyway, I'm having a great season of life right now. Lot's of relax time, learning a new profession, meeting new people, writing more, reading more, spending more time with family, yeah, it's all good. I'm very blessed with a husband who is much better to me than I deserve, and great kids whom I truly enjoy hanging out with (that includes you, Mikey), and I am happier than I've ever been in my life. Sometimes I feel like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop, but maybe God's just choosing to give me a season of joy. Last summer really sucked, with losing my Dad and my knee injury, and it was an uphill climb and then the fall and spring were good and now things are wonderful. I am unworthy, and undeserving, but so very thankful.

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

That's what I'M talkin 'bout . . .

That's right, I'm done with school! At least the classroom part of it. Missed only one on my practical today - but it was for the most idiotic thing - I forgot to put my oil bottle in my pocket, so I had to stop and walk over and get it. What a lame-o . . . so, me and Josh, the guy in my class who is my grade nemesis, made the same thing! I woulda beat him but for my momentary loss of brain function. Anywho, yahoo! Everyone in my class came over to celebrate the last day and swim and we cooked hamburgers. Much fun was had, though the jade tint to our pool did cause a few looks of minor concern that I hopefully reassured. When it's hot our pool changes shades from a nice pale turquoise to a lovely jade green (or if it's really bad, more of a guacamole color), but it's perfectly safe to swim in, just not too aesthetically pleasing.

My Brazilian classmate, Noemia, made a passion fruit mousse that I thought was really good, but most of the others said it tasted like grapefruit cheese! The facial expressions were pretty amusing. Andy actually talked Jay into taking a bite - he shoulda made a bet with me because I didn't think he could do it. To me it tasted like the filling of a cheesecake type pie. It actually didn't have cheese in it, but passion fruit juice and condensed milk and "table cream" which is a Hispanic type of heavy cream used in cooking. Noemia used to be a pastor at a Methodist church in her hometown in Brazil. She's been here nine years and still doesn't have her freakin' green card! She can work but the stupid INS just keeps giving her the runaround. Because of that, she cannot go home to visit her son or her family, so she hasn't seen any of them in all that time. She is the sweetest person and works very hard and is really interesting. She told me her swimsuit was a Brazilian bikini, which was very very tiny, and she wasn't kidding. But since we've all been massaging each other for three months, it was not a big deal. She's 45 but a health nut so she doesn't look it and is in great shape.

All in all, a great day. Everyone left about 2pm, and after we cleaned up the mess, I laid down on the couch and took a nice nap - I hardly ever take the luxury of a nap, and it was awesome. Jay was working on the computer, and then he said he was going to take a nap in the bedroom. Well, I got up at 5, and it's now 7pm, and guess who's STILL sleeping! That boy loves his naps.

I have three appointments booked tomorrow. I will write more tomorrow about my first day as a practicing massage therapy intern. Such a gripping saga, I know . . .

Monday, June 20, 2005

Last Day of Class Tomorrow . . .

Oh man, I can't believe I have completed three months of massage therapy school! Tomorrow is my last day of class, and all we are doing is our "practical," which is where we have to demonstrate, ON CAMERA, for frog's sake, the five basic massage strokes and some range of motion techniques on whichever couple of body parts are assigned to us immediately before we start. No pressure there, is there? Nothing like seeing yourself on poor quality videotape to boost the old ego! We have six minutes to complete it, which sounds like a long time, but you have to remember a number of steps, make sure your draping is correct, make sure you are not blocking the camera's view of what you are doing, blah, blah, blah, and there are points for each thing. Give me a good old multiple choice exam any day. This is exactly like the practical we have to do as a portion of our state test. We practiced in front of the camera last week, and I had to go first and I did horrible - I was so awkward and self-conscious! But, my partner for tomorrow is Josh, a really nice young guy (he's 20) in our class who I really like. We have a friendly rivalry going on to make the best grades and all of us girls tease him a lot because he's a great sport! We are going first, at 8am, so at least I'll get it over with! Then on Wednesday, DUM DUM DUM, we start our internships and we have to actually work on real people. Can you say yikes . . . actually I think it'll be a lot of fun. Well, reading over this I realize it's probably really boring to other people, so I'll move on.

But it is a big milestone for me - I have made this huge life change, that I decided on in January, started planning in February, and actually went and did something about it and quit my job and started school in April. Sometimes when I think back over the last few months, it seems so unreal to me that I actually went through with this and have now finished school and am actually about to jump into a totally new career! It's probably one of the most spontaneous things I've ever done that wasn't a really stupid and self-destructive decision! It wasn't totally spontaneous, I did plan it out, but I made the decisions involved pretty quickly and decisively. I believed God was opening doors for me, and I just dreamed huge, as Beth Moore says.

On to the more bizarre, in my latest installment of That's Just Stupid . . . I saw a woman today coming out of Target who was older than me by at least 10 years, maybe more, and she had on a black top and some black shorts of some knit material, BLACK HOSE AND DRESS SHOES! I did a triple take and just shook my head. What in the world was she dressed up for? I tried to think - a play, a dance class, a costume party . . . geez, don't people look in the mirror - don't they have someone who loves them enough to say, you know, you might want to rethink your ensemble . . . and she was with a man, who looked relatively normal! Why didn't he say something to her . . .

We kept Sam this weekend so Mike and Lindsay could celebrate their fourth anniversary. He is the funniest toddler I've ever known, other than Andy. He keeps us busy - I'd forgotten how much energy it takes to chase after an active, inquisitive toddler! He is learning new words every day and is just so bright! He slept with me, and I discovered he talks, cries, snores and an assortment of other sleep-interrupting activities during his sleep. Mind you, he doesn't wake up during these things, but I certainly do. Who knew a grandbaby would change life so much? I miss him when he's not around and love to see his little dimpled face whenever I can. Wish he was a little more cuddly, but he's just too busy exploring the world to have time for such things as affection, except when he's tired. But when Linsday came to get him Sunday morning, he was SO happy to see her, and he gave her a hug and a sweet kiss - it was just the sweetest thing to see.

I'm too tired to write anything funny or creative - and I still have more stuff to do. Gotta find a way to break this habit of writing way too much about everything going on. Need some ice cream to refresh my energy. Bad habit. Must stop. Currently watching Arrested Development - I rented the whole first season on DVD. I highly recommend it if you like really weird, quirky and clever but wayyyyyy out of the box comedy. Just my cup of tea, with my warped sense of humor . . .

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Sometimes I wish I was a guy . . .

I recently received an email from Jay entitled "Why Men Are Happier." I read this with interest, since, at least in our household, that statement tends to be pretty much truth. I am posting it here and invite your comments. I find that all the statements are true, and it made me wonder why it's so complicated to be a woman. Sometimes, often in fact, we are our own worst enemy, toughest critic, hardest taskmaster, and worst friend. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like . . .

Men are just happier people. What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack.You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth.The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress - $5000. Tux rental - $100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.You can do all your Christmas shopping on December 24th. No wonder men are happier.

Though this made me laugh out loud, it also made me wonder . . . what was God thinking when he made the sexes so very different that there's no way they will ever completely understand each other?

Writer's Block

Here's the thing . . . I desperately want to write a novel, and have actually written a few paragraphs. Not pages, paragraphs. But every time I have some time to write, I end up finding plenty of other things to do so I can avoid sitting down to write. For example, this is the third blog I've written today! I am choosing to view this as practice writing . . . at least I'm writing something. I have a dear friend who is also writing a novel, and she's written many, many, many pages. I hate her. (not really Jules). I am trying to figure out why I can't get myself started - fear of failure, fear of having nothing to say, fear that what I write will really stink? Probably all of the above. How much of what we do or don't do in life is motivated by fear? (see my two previous blogs).

Hmmmmmmm . . .

Thoughts on the movie "Crash"

Recently saw the movie "Crash." Wow. This is a movie that everyone over the age of 14 should see (I'd say younger but it's too intense). I won't go into the whole plot here, but basically it's a film about racial prejudice - by all races, against all races. It addresses the fact that all of us, now matter how much we think we don't, have fears and prejudices against people of other races and cultures. Some of us hide them very well, and we can talk the talk, but they are there nevertheless.

We saw the movie with some friends, and when we came out, they were all saying "wow, I feel so convicted, so burdened, what a heavy movie", stuff like that, and I was saying "I thought it was GREAT!" We went back to our house to watch something light and funny to sort of lift our moods out of the pits. It's just one of those movies that makes you really take a hard honest look at yourself.

The thing I came away with the most from this film was that almost all racial hatred and prejudice is the result of fear and ignorance. We are afraid of what we don't understand, afraid of things we don't know about, and they are just as afraid of us. Now I don't in any way mean to simplify the issue, and I will state up front that I am a WASP, and I have never experienced racial hatred and prejudice on the level that people of other races or even other economic backgrounds have. I am just here to say that this movie moved me and made me think really hard and face some truths about myself and others. I worked in a small town for a few years recently, and encountered racism at a level that I did not realize still existed. Not overt, but in little things like using air quotes and speaking in a whisper when saying someone was "black," or "Mexican." I wanted to say, "Why are you whispering? Don't you think they are aware that they are black?" I was shocked at the entrenched attitudes I found there, and my eyes were really opened to how far we still have to go to reach some sort of understanding of each other as the beginning of the end of racism.

I think people should see this movie with friends or their older children and then have an honest conversation about the topic. It won't be comfortable but it will stretch your mind!

Thoughts on friendship . . .

Recently we had some friends over for a pool party, in theory to celebrate Jay's birthday but also on the occasion of one couple who was visiting from Round Rock where they are house parents at a children's home. We don't get to see them often so we invited them and two other couples who have become very close friends in recent months. Now all of these couples are much younger than we are, almost young enough to be our kids. Yet we find ourselves so comfortable with them that we are able to drop all the defenses and just be exactly who we are, warts and all. We feel free to express our thoughts, views and opinions with no fear of offending, seeming too liberal, or running into a conflict because of differences. This may not seem all that interesting or unique to some of you, but in my personal experience, this kind of friendship is a very rare thing.

I have always said I am an open book, willing to talk openly with anyone about anything. But in the last year or so, I've come to realize that is really not the truth. I am friendly and have many acquaintances on what I call the "surface" level. But I have realized that I have an internal roadblock, or maybe a personal defense system would be a better way to describe it, that keeps me from letting most people in beyond a certain level. I have realized that the reason for this is mainly fear that the person will disapprove or will not like me or worse yet will get angry at me if I let them know the unvarnished truth. The result of this mechanism is that I have spent a great deal of my life with only a few close friends, and since I have been a Christian and active in the church, the number and closeness of friendships has actually decreased. I believe it is because I am worried that my fellow Christians will judge me as I see many of them judge others who don't fit the correct profile. I do not. I have much in my past, pre-Christian life that I am ashamed of, but they are choices that have shaped who I am today and that God has used in many ways. But some of those things make others uncomfortable. I find myself being very careful about discussing politics, religion, movies, books, music, anything that I think might be controversial. Do that a while and see if it doesn't stifle the real you! Not that the "real me" is come sort of worldly hedonist, but I do have thoughts and opinions that some might get in a wad about, so I just keep them to myself.

Anyway, I ramble from my subject (oh shock!). I found myself pondering why it is that Jay and I find these friendships with much younger people to be so much easier to forge and maintain and so much more relaxed than others we encounter. Not to say that all of our friendships with folks closer to our age are only surface, but these recent friendships are those unique kind that just happened effortlessly. They developed to a great deal because of Jay's close relationship with two of the guys, which in turn branched into a friendship with the third couple who is very close to the other two. I just think that their younger generation is more willing to accept us for who we are without any preconceived thoughts about who we "should" be or how we "should" act, and are willing to get to know us during the course of our friendship, and letting us get to know them, without unwritten expectations coloring every conversation.

I personally developed a totally unexpected, close and dear friendship with one of the women after spending a week on a youth mission trip with her where I got to know her much better. She was someone I never thought I'd be friends with, as she has a very strong personality and that usually puts me off of people. But I found as I got to know her that she reminded me so very much of myself 15 years ago, and our friendship has grown over the last year. We have developed a mutual trust to the point where we can share confidences comfortably, something I rarely do with anyone but my husband. I feel that she is my friend but that I also have a bit of a mentoring role with her and the other young women. It's an odd paradigm for me, but one I am enjoying very much.

I used to watch the TV show Thirtysomething, way back when I WAS thirtysomething, and I found myself wishing so much that we had friends like those on the show, friends that just dropped by unannounced to hang out, without agenda or formal plans, but just as extended family. I thought that would be the most wonderful thing in the world. And yet I found in real life that those kind of frienships were very difficult to form and even harder to maintain. It takes a lot of time and a commitment on both parts. And yet sometimes it just seems to work like it is supposed to, and if you find that, count yourself doubly blessed.

My other observation about friendships is that you can only keep up with a finite number of friends at one time in your life and still have any time for yourself. As you change jobs, cities, churches, or whatever, the inner circle of people you actually want to give up some of your precious free time for will shift and change. I have often found myself feeling terribly guilty for not keep up with old friends like I should, and yet I realize this is part of the natural cycle of life as we know it. I have found that e-mail is the best tool to stay in touch with friends that you don't see on a regular basis anymore. I love to send and receive e-mails, so much more than talking on the phone. I think it's a great way to communicate.

So, here's the thing . . . I think friendship has more to do with shared values, interests, culture, and personalities and much less to do with age, religion, or economic status. We are all searching for those kinds of friends who will love us no matter what stupid thing we may say or what foolish point of view we may take, and who are close enough to tell us the truth when we need to hear it and to hear the same from us. You just never know what package those friends may show up in.

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

Random thoughts

Well, I'm home from church. We are working on patriotic music, which just makes me grit my teeth. Don't know why, don't really have an issue with it, just don't wanna sing it. Every year we bring out a song that includes the fight song or whatever you call it for each branch of the armed services and I just always try to find a way not to be there that week. Please forgive if I offend anyone, it's not a commentary about the military at all, just personal musical tastes.

Speaking of musical tastes, I'm watching an Eagles Farewell Tour special on TV. They are just so talented, and so great live, and they are just as good as ever even though most of them are about my age. What a life it must be to get to play and sing and get paid for it.

I spent some time out by the pool today when I should have been inside working on my novel that I'm trying to start, but I keep managing to find ways to procrastinate that little effort. I know it's fear of failure, and me and God have had a few conversations about it, but so far the closest I've gotten is working on this blog.

Need to get hubby to show me how to make fancy quotes and insert links and stuff. I'm a total rookie at this stuff . . .

Read something in someone else's blog today that really made me go "ouch." David Trotter is a pastor at Revolution Church in Long Beach, CA. He said

The more God does for us, the more difficult it is to follow Him. We get fat and lazy.

Ouch. I'm feeling very comfy and blessed right now, so that statement made me squirm in my chair.

Here's the thing . . .

Well, here I am finally. After much procrastination, I have finally started a blog, so now the pressure's on to say something profound and intellectual, or at least hiliariously funny and insightful. I'm thinking the second one is probably more attainable (relatively speaking anyway). Of course, anal fool that I am, I edited my profile about five times before I got it just right, so I've used up much of my posting time and it's almost time to go to choir rehearsal.

I called my blog "Here's the thing . . . " and I basically plan to just post my thoughts and observations about life. I don't have anything earth shaking to say, but I do have a sometimes, shall we say, "different" take on things. I will share things I read that make me smile or wince or "make my brain spin around in my skull" (to quote Scott Adams). I've reached that certain age where you just don't care about some stuff any more, and it's very liberating. Took me a while to come up with a name that I thought was descriptive and yet not off-putting. I wanted to name it Well That's Just Stupid, a phrase I use often these days. Maybe I'll occasionally have a "Well That's Just Stupid" entry. Gotta give that some thought.

I have a lot of things to say, and I have no idea where to begin, but this is really going to be fun. I love to read other people's blogs, just to see what they are thinking. It's been my experience since e-mail became a regular part of my life (though I went there kicking and screaming about what a waste of time it was - geez I was stupid), that people often can articulate their thoughts better in writing, and will write down things that they might find it difficult if not impossible to say in a face to face conversation, or perhaps just that they don't think anyone else will care to sit and listen to. Sometimes ya just want to ramble or rant (I'm quite familiar with both hobbies) and it's just easier and more fun to write it down. You can edit yourself much better, which is a good thing if you are like me and your filter tends to fail you when you need it most. And the person responding to your thoughts can take the time to consider carefully what they want to say, to ask for clarification, etc. I try to make it a personal goal to never send a flame mail but to think about it before I hit that send button. Email has been a great tool in my marriage to a person who, though I love him more than I can express, is so intrinsically different from me in the way he processes information, deals with conflict and anger, and expresses thought, that you'd think we were speaking two completely different languages or perhaps hailed from two different planets (Mars and Venus, anyone)? So, I guess my first blog is about the good things about email and blogging and writing your thoughts in general. I will be back later to write about the new journey I am on these days and what brought it about, etc.

Well, Dear Diary, I must go fulfill some obligations. Bleh. (not really, I love choir, but when I get started writing it's hard to stop - an extension of my "I'm talking and I can't shut up" persona that those who know me best have learned to gracefully tolerate.

Back later tonight I hope!