Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Whiny McWhinington

Sigh. I am in a weird mood. Not really a funk. Just a creatively blocked corner of frustration at not having endless amounts of time to actually deeply delve into figuring out which path of creativity I really feel the most passionate about. Writing, photography, painting, drawing, collage - whatever. I have hardly spent any time in my office lately - the office I so carefully arranged and partially decorated.

This going back to work thing came at a time when I was just getting going on the creative thing, and now . . . I'm just too tired to do much after about 8 at night. That's just how it is. And every weekend seems full of stuff. Perhaps summer will be better. No school activities. I don't plan to go to camp, maybe mission trip but not sure. I just want to spend my hours doing what I want to do for my own pleasure - is that too much to ask . . .? Don't answer that. Waaahhh.

I am not good at making efficient use of small blocks of time. I've figure out about myself that in order to do something creative, to get it flowing, I need to have a chunk of time where I don't have the thoughts of something else I have to do on the tail end of it chattering away in my mind. And when, really, is that EVER the case? Bleh. Even when I was home all the time, all the stuff I have to do was chattering in my mind. I need to go to a hypnotist and have them do something so that I can just let stuff GO, without it bugging me that it's not getting DONE. I seem to find time to email, and I've broken through my blogging block and do that pretty often now. But the rest . . . I think it's going to take a radical change in my DNA or something - or at least a radical change in how I approach my daily life.

Sigh.

4 comments:

Julie Layne said...

Hey, is there an echo in here? ;) (I'm happy to see you're doing your part in going green. LOL)

Hang in there, Ms. Mac

Gail (but you can call me G) said...

Hey, I warned you I was going to post that on my blog. I just cut and pasted, rather than rewriting it. Revelations about life, they are coming in waves. . . I shall be posting more later today I hope.

hampton said...

one of the many (many many) design blogs i check daily has started a kind of mini series about figuring out how to follow your "calling" when you are still trying to figure out what exactly it is. it's geared more specifically to the visual design disciplines but you might find it interesting.

http://decor8.blogspot.com/search/label/what%20to%20do

start from the bottom and go up. =)

i should talk to jay. i should just hang out with both of you more, really. i may invite myself to dinner soon!

Anonymous said...

all i did was type in whiny mcwhinington... thats awesome