Wednesday, August 31, 2005
Man, you try so hard to learn from your mistakes with the previous child so you will do a better job each time. Why can't I learn to not push Andy so hard and make him feel like he never quite lives up to my expectations! I don't really feel that way but I know that's how I come across. Just carrying on the fine tradition my mom started with me and that I do to myself as well. He is struggling with not wanting to be in orchestra anymore and just wanting to get through the year, and I just need to let it go and be okay with that, and encourage him in other classes and sports, etc. I have been accused by both him and Lindsay of trying to make them do what I would do and be like me, and that is painfully close to true, much as I hate to admit it. It's certainly not my intent, but that seems to be the result anyway. I want him to know I love him and am proud of everything he does and that I'm okay with whatever he chooses to focus on. Why is that so hard to just say? You'd think this would get easier after all these years, but not so much . . .