Friday, September 02, 2005
School's In . . .
Still no temporary license in the mail! Still no income! This is getting kind of scary - can't go on forever not bringing in some moolah, and I'm getting pretty anxious. I have believed ever since I started this new venture that God was blessing it and taking a hand in working things out for me, and up until now things had been rocking along very smoothly. Now I know that just because it seems a little bumpy right now doesn't mean He is not still involved in what's unfolding in my life. In fact, it's quite likely that this time of uncertainty should be used as an opportunity for me to trust God even more with our finances, and with providing for our needs. It's really one of those times when if there was anything I COULD do, I would take steps to solve the problem, but I'm really helpless to do anything at all. Maybe that's just exactly where God wants me right now. I've been, well not exactly drifting away from God, so much as just not communicating very much in either direction. Taking Him for granted I guess, knowing He's there but being too caught up in my own stuff to talk to Him or more importantly to listen. My personal experience has been that sometimes God brings about a circumstance in my life in order to get my attention when He has a lesson for me. Not saying He causes bad things to happen, and I can't exactly explain what I mean, but if you've had the experience you'll understand. Sometimes you know without a doubt that a situation is the way it is because God has rung the schoolbell and it's lesson time. So I guess I'm at the place right now where I'm ready to listen and learn, because there's no other choice. Isn't it too bad that so often we have to get to the place where there's no other choice before we will turn to God? It's just so much our nature to try to fix things on our own, to bring about whatever we think needs to happen (a la Abraham and Sarah) instead of letting God's plan unfold on its own. So here I am, waiting - I'd like to say patiently, but I don't feel so patient - and still believing, though shaken a bit, that I am on a path that God is blessing and that I have made the right choice. And that if I am wrong, God will work that out for my best interests as well. The waiting, the not knowing - so hard to do. I pray for strength, trust and patience. And perhaps a little divine intervention . . .